Into the Fog: Navigating My Mother's Journey through Dementia a memoir and a guide
by Patty Brennan

Into the Fog

 Into the Fog: Navigating My Mother’s Journey through Dementia is a memoir of one family’s experience confronting the challenges inherent in caring for their declining matriarch. In the hope that other families might benefit from her hard-won perspective, the book is also a simple guide wherein the author reflects on lessons learned as she witnessed her mom’s dementia advance.

How do we communicate effectively with someone suffering from dementia? What works? What doesn’t work? A game-changer for the siblings was found in embracing the idea that their mom was behaving in a way consistent with her emotions and inner reality, and that effective communication involved seeing things from her perspective and responding accordingly.

Author Patty Brennan brings the lens of a doula, end-of-life doula trainer, and patient advocate to her story, sharing insights and tips, while seeking to ease the path for family caregivers who find themselves navigating a similar journey.

Into the Fog: Navigating My Mother's Journey through Dementia
$13.95

 
Into the Fog is a wonderful guide for family and friends who are helping someone with dementia no matter what stage. I realize each person’s journey is different, but knowing that others are going through this is reassuring. The main takeaway for me was that most people don’t get hospice involved soon enough. There are lots of helpful tips and suggestions. Also, it’s a quick read which is very helpful. 
 
—Jo Anne Lindberg, 
President & Founder, BirthLink Childbirth & Family Wellness


That Was a Death

by Patty Brennan

The day I realized there was no longer any point in telling Mom about my life

Expecting her to hold the thread of my story

To keep up, to feel pride

Like expecting a three-year-old to meet your needs

She cannot comprehend, and I best change gears (again)

And think of how to amuse her

(Always easier when Peter was present)

That was a death.

 

Trying to make a connection

She’s in her own world now.

I join her in her spot in the hallway

Pulling up a chair

Another resident witnesses her rebuffs, her lack of recognition

And kindly says,

She doesn’t know you.

I surprise myself, bursting into tears.

That was a death.

A Mother’s Day low, two weeks before she died

We have run the gamut from forgetful, to confused, and beyond.

Puzzled, foggy, muddled, baffled, mystified, perplexed, befuddled …

Escalating to incomprehensible, lost

Until finally this: Vacant

Uncomprehending eyes, incapable of joy

I impose a kiss on her as I leave (after all, it is Mother’s Day!)

I know the kiss is more for me than for her.

That was a death.

 

She was always my friend

Always on my side

Now I am losing her, bit by bit,

My friend is gone.

In her place: Shadow Mom, as John would say

Relentless progression towards an inevitable end

So many losses along the way

Once she is released from this broken shell

A flood of relief settles in.