Surgery Doula Specialist Training

A few years ago, I underwent knee replacement surgery. My sister Joan came to stay with me the night prior to  the surgery and stayed for several days. In addition to Joan, I had my husband Jerry. Together, they were a great team with Joan taking care of me and Jerry handling grocery shopping, making food for the three of us, driving me to physical therapy appointments, and doing his share of fetching.

I am reminded of giving birth to my first son and relying solely on my husband for support through that experience. He was willing, but clueless. He was present, but lacked an intuitive understanding of what to do. He could (and did) respond to all requests, but anticipating my needs was not in his wheelhouse. I didn't even know what I needed!

This experience taught me that it is a set-up for disappointment to have unexamined expectations of another person, especially when those expectations are not a good match for their capacities. Why not set ourselves up to get the support we need (thereby optimizing our outcome) instead of basking in disappointment or worse—resentment?

Three years later, I found myself facing a second knee replacement surgery. Jerry asked anxiously, "Do you think Joan can come again?" I responded, without thinking, "if she can't, then I need to get myself a Surgery Doula." And hence, a new doula specialty was born! Not everyone has a Joan or a life partner, but everyone recovering from surgery needs support.